TL;DR
A family communications plan answers four questions without requiring anyone to use a phone: Where do we meet if we can't go home? Who do we call outside our area? What does each person do at their starting location? How do we reunite if we're separated? Write it down, give everyone a copy, and practice it once a year.
Why This Plan Matters
The plan sounds bureaucratic until the day you need it. An earthquake hits on a Wednesday afternoon. You're at the office, your spouse is running errands, your kids are at school. Phones are overwhelmed or down. Traffic is gridlocked. The school is in lockdown. You have no coordinated plan.
Alternatively: everyone in the household knows exactly where to go, who to call, and what decisions each person can make independently. The family reunites. Nobody panics for three hours wondering where everyone else is.
The difference is thirty minutes of planning done in advance.
The Four Elements
1. Meeting locations
Establish two meeting points:
- Near home: A specific address within walking distance (neighbor's house, corner of a specific street, community building). Use this when you can't enter or reach home but the immediate neighborhood is accessible.
- Away from neighborhood: A location outside your immediate area for larger-scale emergencies (natural disaster, extended evacuation). A specific family member's house, a community center in another zip code, a specific intersection.
Both locations must be understood by every family member old enough to navigate independently. The away-from-neighborhood location should have a specific address that children can give to a first responder.
2. Out-of-area contact
Choose one person who lives in a different region — different area code, different state. This person becomes the family coordination hub:
- Everyone calls them when they're safe
- They relay messages between family members
- They maintain a log of who has checked in and where they are
This works because long-distance calls often succeed when local calls fail. The contact needs to know they're in this role. Confirm the arrangement with them in advance.
3. Individual starting-point protocols
Each family member has a default action for their most common locations:
| Location | If phones work | If phones don't work | |---|---|---| | Home | Call [contact], assess, decide | Shelter or go to near-home meeting point | | School | Wait for parent pickup; follow school protocol | Stay at school through official release | | Work | Call [contact], assess commute | Drive/walk toward meeting point; text when possible | | Vehicle | Pull over, assess, call/text | Proceed to meeting point | | Away from home | Call [contact] | Follow plan; head toward meeting points |
4. Reunification priority
Who goes where, in what order:
- Each parent's first priority: pick up children from school (designate primary and backup parent for each child/school)
- If school is released to reunification site, know where that is
- Final fallback: everyone at the away-from-neighborhood meeting point by [specific time] on the day of the event
Building the Plan Document
The plan is only useful if everyone has it and can use it without a phone. This means:
- A physical card for every family member (wallet size, laminated)
- A copy on the refrigerator
- A copy in each vehicle
- A digital backup on phones (contacts, notes app)
What goes on the card:
[Family Name] Emergency Communications Plan
Near-Home Meeting: [Address]
Away-From-Neighborhood Meeting: [Address]
Out-of-Area Contact: [Name] — [Phone Number]
Secondary Contact: [Name] — [Phone Number]
School Reunification Site: [Address]
If separated: I will go to [near-home meeting] first.
If that's inaccessible: I will go to [away-from-neighborhood meeting].
I will try to be at the away-from-neighborhood meeting by [time] on [day of event].
My work address: [address]
My school address: [address]
Building the Plan With Children
Children who understand the plan execute it. Children who have only heard it mentioned once do not.
Age-appropriate versions:
- Ages 5-8: Two addresses, one phone number, "if you can't find mom or dad, call [out-of-area contact] or go to [near-home meeting point]"
- Ages 9-12: Full plan, practice route to both meeting points
- Teenagers: Full plan, ability to execute independently, responsible for younger siblings per the plan
Practice: Walk the routes to both meeting points once. Do the kids know how to get to the near-home meeting point on foot? Have they seen the away-from-neighborhood meeting point in person?
School handoff: Know the school's process cold. What ID is required for pickup? What's the reunification site if students are moved? What's the school's out-of-area contact number? Add this to the plan.
Shelter-in-Place vs. Evacuate Decision
The plan should include clear criteria for when to stay home versus leave. Ambiguity on this point causes families to make different decisions independently, which defeats the purpose.
Simple decision framework:
- Stay home (shelter-in-place): Hazard is outdoors (air quality event, civil unrest, immediate threat outside), home is structurally safe, no official evacuation order
- Leave home (evacuate): Official evacuation order issued, home is structurally compromised, fire or flood threat, staying home is more dangerous than traveling
Make this explicit in the plan. "If there is an official evacuation order for our area, we evacuate. We don't wait to hear from each other first." Everyone should be able to make this decision independently.
Communication Cascade
When an emergency starts, each family member follows this sequence:
- Text first, call second. Texts often get through when calls don't. Send one text to out-of-area contact and spouse/co-parent.
- If no response after 15 minutes, call. Out-of-area contact first.
- If phones are down entirely, execute the plan. Proceed to meeting points per the plan without waiting for communication.
- Check in at meeting points on schedule. If the plan says "away-from-neighborhood meeting by 6 PM," be there at 6 PM.
The plan removes the need to communicate in order to coordinate. That's the entire point.
Annual Review
Review the plan every year. Update:
- Out-of-area contact's current phone number
- Work and school locations if changed
- Kids' protocols as they age and gain independence
- Meeting points if family or neighborhood changes
Set a calendar reminder. Make it the same date every year. The plan that was relevant three years ago may not fit current circumstances.
Sources
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do you need an out-of-area contact instead of calling each other directly?
After a local disaster, local calls are often blocked by network congestion even when long-distance calls work. The 2001 World Trade Center attacks blocked most Manhattan-to-Manhattan calls but long-distance calls to other states worked. An out-of-area contact (relative or friend in another state) becomes a coordination hub: each family member calls the contact, the contact relays information between them. Choose someone in a different area code than your home.
My kids' school has its own emergency plan. Do I need to do anything differently?
Know the school's plan in detail before an emergency. Where will students be held? What's the reunification procedure? What ID is required to pick up a child? Schools often move students to a secondary reunification site during major events — if you go to the school and students aren't there, do you know where to go next? Add the school's emergency number, reunification site address, and release procedure to your family communications plan.
What if the emergency happens when we're all in different locations?
This is exactly what the plan is for. If an earthquake hits at 2pm on a Tuesday, you're at work, your spouse is at the gym, your kids are at school, and your in-laws are across town. Everyone needs to know: (1) whether to shelter in place or go to a meeting point, (2) the decision trigger, (3) where to meet, (4) who to call, (5) what to do if the first meeting point is inaccessible. Make the plan specific enough to work without real-time coordination.